Articles - from past newsletters
"A Vision of Relationship!" - May '09
I was touched last week to hear how a client and his wife designed a wedding week rather than a single day after exploring what they wanted from ‘getting married’. It was a wonderful reminder of what is possible when we have a clear vision of what we want and an outcome that we can describe..
As we near summer and some plan their ‘perfect’ wedding day, I am struck by the contrast in the enormous amount couples tend to plan or talk about the wedding itself and the little couples tend to talk about what they want in their relationship together beyond that day and during their marriage... what if after the wedding day you spent as much if not more time, energy and yes, money, on your marriage and supporting yourselves in having the life together that you want. When do we make the space for this and invest in our relationships?
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“Sexuality – What did our parents teach us?” - Mar '09
Through my relationship training and supervision, I have learned and continue to learn a lot about sexuality that has helped me for the first time understand my own experience more and opened up a new potential for intimacy. I should emphasise the word potential before you conjure up an image of perfection as I am just like everyone else with my own hang ups and stuff to work through, experiencing times of connection and joy and times of disconnection and pain in relationship.
A key discovery for me has been that we learn to regulate our sexual energy in relationship, and that the first relationship we learn this in is with our parents. Just take a moment to reflect on what your parents taught you about your sexual energy? Perhaps as you entered adolescence you were lucky and your parents knew what to do or say, or at least enough to support your newfound sexual energy. Alternatively, perhaps like many they didn’t know how.
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"A Possibility To Live Into" - Feb '09
In the midst of a busy month creating as much time as possible with my son and husband alongside increased client work, I was wondering where the space and inspiration would be for a newsletter, when I received an email from a client. It included a link to a youtube video that had touched her, so curious and wanting to connect with what she'd learned I let go of my 'to do' list and watched. And what a wonderful 9minutes it was.
The clip is of Ben Zander, a conductor, sharing his learning and realisations about possibility and relationship with a truly international audience of Economists. He speaks of how this relates to leadership. With warmth and humour Ben brings his message to life with stories.
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“Romcoms Impact on Intimacy” - Jan '09
I was very happy to read an article in Metro called ‘Real love is not all about romcom laughs‘ by Bel Jacobs. Why? Because it’s great to see articles in everyday press challenging the romantic vision of ‘love’ and relationships, and encouraging people to look beyond it, particularly when they are amusing and perceptive.
She asks “Where are the simmering resentments, the decade-long misunderstandings, the belching and breaking of wind?” Romcoms are by their very nature a neat, easy and endearing portrayal of relationship, rather than the more challenging reality where recovering from disappointment is tough and ultimately deeply rewarding...
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"Miscarriage – a Common yet often Hidden Experience" - Jan '09 Extra
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